This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
