You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
