Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
