Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
