Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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