woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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