i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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