I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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