you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
