She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i think im in europe. pls send help
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
