Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
