this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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