She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
