when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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