Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
