READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
