just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
