Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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