idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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