Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
