dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My pussy is not your playground.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
