bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
