Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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