i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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