I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
