she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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