ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
