can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
