You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
