At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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