Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
