ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i will never coherently bang her
Everything about him screamed your future.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
