Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
