I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
