CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
