I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
