I am spending my child support on dildos
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
