I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
