he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
