Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The beer is more important than you right now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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