i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
