dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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