So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
