Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
