I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
