Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You may now shotgun with the bride
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm bleeding and have questions
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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