Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
