The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
