Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
