How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
