i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
