went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
