at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
