So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
